Friday, September 25

I feel like I have been hit over the head....

This morning I started by picking up a book and opening it. Page 171.

Idle Questions

A person hit a Worker a good strong blow from behind.
The Worker swung around to return it; and the man said:
"Before you hit me, I have a question for you.
Not this is it: that sound: was it made by my hand or your neck?"
"The pain I am feeling does not give me leave for speculation.
These things are all right to worry about if you're feeling no pain."

This story made me remember another one, told my Mandy Patinken in a documentary I saw last night about Hal Prince, the great director of musical theater. Now, this isn't exactly what Patinken said, but its how I remember it.

"I was in the middle of doing a scene in rehearsals for a show and Hal interrupted me. 'I need you to be over there [pointing to the opposite side of the stage].' I was young, just out of acting school and all concerned about my character's motivations so I asked, 'Why would my character go over there? What could possibly motivate him to want to be there? What is he doing over there?' Hal's response was simply 'I don't care. I just know I need you to be there.'"

So I thought both of these things over and over in my head while we got ready for the day. It was on the bus, as I was still thinking these two stories over and over again in my brain this line came to me from a great movie. Tremors. Kevin Bacon's character says, "Yeah. See, we plan ahead that way we don't do anything right now."

Isn't that what I always do? Worry about where the pain is coming from and not dealing with the pain. Worried about why I like going to artificial world made by an evil corporation instead of just excepting that that is where I need to be. Being so worried about the next thing on my list that I don't hold what I have right now. I'm so worried about doing the wrong thing, that most of the time, I just don't do anything.

So then, I got to work and read this from Collin Beaven, the No Impact Man. He basically says what I just said only more coherently.

So yeah, I get it. Stop checking to make sure I'm always right. Stop worrying about why I am going somewhere and just make the journey and be in that spot in that moment. Stop analyzing the cause of pain and just hold the fact of pain.

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