Monday, March 22

Breathing Deeply

I end each day by asking myself two simple questions:

"What was I most grateful for this day?"
"What was I least grateful for this day?"

Sometimes the answers to the questions are surprising. Thought provoking. Miraculous. But on a normal day, my life is nothing more than a boring series of events that aren't really worth discussing. So honestly, when I ask these questions, I don't always have an answer.

I'm starting to feel like I have unrealistic expectations for what qualifies as something worth mentioning. I understand that not every day of my life is going to be filled with noble achievements and moments of sheer brilliance. I get it, I really do. I have the sense that in between watching Jesus feed a crowd of 500 people and seeing Lazarus raised from the dead there was a lot boring walking going on in the lives of the Disciples. I don't think they listened every time Jesus spoke. I'm sure they yawned and thought, I've heard this parable before.

We don't get to flip past the boring bits in life and get straight to the good part. There are long stretches of nothing much going on. Maybe that's for the best. I had the opportunity to over hear a group of people gossiping about me at church the other day. They were sharing with a fairly new member about the fact that I have had a "hard life."

I know why that was said. If you list all the crap events that have happened in my life, one right after the other, the list seems rather long. But it didn't all happen in the span one list. It happened over time. With a lot of happy parts and boring parts in between. And maybe the happy things, like listening to Alex signing to herself while she plays with her toys or laughing with my friends when we get got in a torrential down poor don't rank that high as memorable events to gossip about, but it makes up for a lot.

So on those days when I get to end and feel like there is nothing worth mentioning, I just have to admit that, for now, the simple things are what count. I got to breath oxygen today, which was great, but then I came home and found the dishes were still in the sink. The revelation that those things don't wash themselves was a low blow, the thing that I am least grateful for.


The Bug said...

That whole dishes not washing themselves is VERY annoying. We are without a dishwasher again after being spoiled for 12 years. Well, we HAVE a dishwasher - it's me!

Another blog I follow does grateful Thursdays. I might want to start doing that too - just so I can remember that there's good along with the unwashed dishes.

Robin said...

For the most part, I forget to be grateful each day. More often, it is when I wake up - some nights are disturbed and I am grateful in the mornings when I wake up and realize I slept for longer stretches. Then I linger and try to 'feel' if I have rested parts in me. So I read what you wrote and then spent the day wondering if we should also have grateful time after nights....

Katy said...

Can I just say that I am sorry I didn't proof read this post better. I know that I suck at spelling and that is usally my fall back excuess, but wow. I just need to read things a fourth and fifth time before I hit publish.

Anonymous said...

I didn't notice. I was too fixated on the direction my thoughts were going as I read your post.

Iota said...

I hadn't thought of that. That people might be sitting picking their feet or nodding off in the sunshine when Jesus spoke.

I like stretches of life when not much goes on - but there don't seem too many of them.