Wednesday, September 1

Devoid of All Thought...

I haven't been able to form an intelligent thought in the last few days. My brain has turned itself off in anticipation of the upcoming three day weekend. But I have three unconnected and pointless stories to share.

While fixing dinner last night I opened the refrigerator and took out our pitcher of cold water. It was empty.

Alex why would did you put an empty pitcher in the refrigerator? If you empty it, you have to fill it back up!

I didn't do it.

Who did?

Obviously, it must have been our fairy playing tricks!

Yes, obviously.


I was on the phone with my sister, the lawyer, when I realized that she must be at a restaurant of some kind. She had told me earlier that she was cooking fish for dinner so I found this to be slightly odd.

Where are you?

We went out and got cupcakes for dessert.

Oh Dear Lord. You are such the yuppie couple.

Okay, I know that story wasn't that interesting, but I'm still dismayed. The idea that my favorite sister is paying $3 to eat a cupcake in an over crowded bakery is just depressing on many, many levels.


This next story is just weird. I over heard it on my bus ride home yesterday. The person who told this story looks like a normal person which makes the whole thing even more bizarre. To set it up, I'll just say that apparently the neighbors of the Story Telling Bus Rider are "crazy" and have sued her in small claims court for the death of their cat.

That cat is always getting into my yard and I've gone and complained to them about it several times because it poops in my vegetable garden. One day I was in the house and I heard a commotion out back. Rex (who I assume is the bus rider's dog...if not, the story is even weirder) had gotten a hold of the cat. It had come into my yard again and Rex finally caught up to it. Of course I went outside trying to save the thing, but when Rex dropped it, it was obvious to anyone that its neck was practically broken. It was on death's door and in a lot of pain. So I went in the house and got my hand gun, THAT I HAVE A PREEMINENT FOR, and shot it. Put it out of its misery. Now those crazy people are suing me saying its MY FAULT the thing died! *

So just to recap. The Story Telling Bus Rider's dog attacked her neighbor's cat. Instead of a) alerting her neighbor or b) driving the cat to an emergency vet herself, the Story Telling Bus Rider picked option c) and shot and killed the cat. Now, let's not dwell on the fact that I don't think c) would enter into most city people's mind as a viable option. Let's just contemplate the fact that the story teller was shocked at how upset her neighbors were to find out she had killed their family pet. She was dismayed that her neighbors had the audacity to blame her.

* It should be noted that this is a condescend and paraphrased version of the story I heard told on the bus.


Amy said...

Katy, I liked all 3 stories - but the 2nd one about your sister resonated especially because I have one sister and she's the "yuppie!"

And I think what Alex did with the water pitcher was quite normal - I've seen the same phenomenon a number of times.

The animal story - I agree - option c) would never ever occur to most rational human beings.

Single and Sane said...

I liked all 3 stories, too! I'm not sure the neighbors should sue the crazy lady though, because a) she's crazy, b) she has a gun, and c) she's not afraid to use it.


Katy said...

Margert - You are so right. Never cross a person with a gun.

Amy - Yes, my sister is just a year older than me. We are still best of friends, but honestly, at times I'm amazed that we were raised by the same people.

The Bug said...

Oh I want to be a Yuppie & go out for cupcakes!

Sandra said...

I like your a), b), and c) options...and no, you're right, a city person wouldn't think, "Well, I guess I'll go get my here handy shotgun!"...