Tuesday, December 22

Yesterday I stayed at work late to catch up. I spent an hour in my annual review meeting. One of the lawyers I used to work for, (used to because she was fired a few months ago), had scored my performance at all ones. I'm the first to admit that I suck at my job. They have put me in charge of all the details and I suck at details. Still, everyone else (me included) thought I was a solid 3. That's a good B average. I'm not sure why, but I sobbed. I sobbed to the head of HR. I don't sob. I certainly don't sob at work. And I would never want to sob in front of the head of HR. But I did. I did and that caused me to stay at work until it was dark outside.

As I walked to the bus stop, downtown in the dark, I prayed that I wouldn't get mugged. Not long after I arrived I was greeted by a homeless man with his bed roll in tow. I prayed he wouldn't ask me for money. He didn't. He just mumbled to himself. And shielded his eyes from the non-existent bright light. And in between the mumbling and the eye shielding he shouted unintelligible curses at something only known to him. When the bus arrived the man did not get on. He simply turned and walked away.

Once I had been deposited at the church, I rushed inside. I had promised I would run graphics for the Traveler's Christmas Eve service. The turn out was nice. I was out to lunch. One of the cameras was broken and the man running the switcher made a few mistakes. Still, the service was beautiful. You don't need graphics and cameras to sing Silent Night A Capella by the light of a few hundred candles.

And that's it isn't it? Everything can be total crap, but somewhere in it all there is Silent Night and candles.

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