Hands Down...

... the US Copyright Office has to be the worst governmental agency I deal with regular basis. As far as I can tell they don't really do much other than issue copyright certificates and yet their processing time for applications is insanely long (up to two years) and they don't even have a 1-800 number to call. I have spent many an afternoon just hitting redial after getting busy signals... (so 1980s) only to speak with a clearly annoyed government employee who seems to be under the impression that my brain cell count is extremely low.

Now, I do realize that this is because they deal with a lot of odd balls. I have seen this in limited numbers in the trademark field, but because getting a copyright requires little effort the problem seems magnified. If you ever have a moment to peruse the FAQ section on the US Copyright Office website, you will get a hint of what I'm talking about. A lot of people are apparently trying to copyright diaries they found in their grandmother's attic, (WTF?) and are ultra worried about their personal information becoming public (do I see a mob of aluminum foil hats in the distance?)

But this has to be the best. I don't know if it was just added, or if I had just always skipped past it, but I saw if for the first time yesterday:


How do I protect my sighting of Elvis? (Follow the link. I did not make this up.)

Copyright law does not protect sightings. However, copyright law will protect your photo (or other depiction) of your sighting of Elvis. . . No one can lawfully use your photo of your sighting, although someone else may file his own photo of his sighting. Copyright law protects the original photograph, not the subject of the photograph. [emphasis added]

Oh, and the tip of the month: Can I get a star named after me and claim copyright to it? The answer is, sadly, NO!