I'm not going to lie, I haven't posted much because I often start to write than think, "Never mind. This is exhausting."
I am ready for this year to be over. Today feels like Christmas eve when I was small - bubbling over with anticipation. Tomorrow I will wake up and it will no longer be 2012. It will be gone forever and I will not miss it. It's been a place holder in time. I am working towards a Masters of Divinity degree. I am working towards a promotion at work at the same time I am working towards a new career. At the moment my life feels like that old saying "If you watch the kettle the water will never boil."
I'm not making any grand resolutions for the new year. I don't know what the new year brings. It is filled with a lot of "if this - than thats." So I am keeping it simple and hoping for just a few things: less anxiety, a lot more sleep, and joy - pure joy.
Of course no end of the year post can be complete without a list. So here is a list of the things I want to remember about this year - in no particular order.
1. Downton Abbey - this show is a wonderful diversion and allows me fall in love with Maggie Smith over and over again. It has been my savor in a time when there is nothing good on TV and I've read so much for school that I haven't read much "for fun" recently.
2. Holy Spaces; Holy Silence - I had the opportunity to spend four days in silent retreat at Our Lady of Guadalupe Abbey in Pecos, NM. It was beautiful and brilliant. It was time away from and time with. The chanting of the Psalms is something I carry with me now.
3. Middle School - Alex is in Eighth grade. She will start high school in 2013 and if there was a reason to not want 2012 to end that would be it. She is my baby. She is precious. She is a teenager. She is aggravating. I love her deeply. I want to ring her neck. I want to give her space to become her own person. I want to demand to have my four year old who loved being my princess back.
4. West Elm - I bought furniture from a store for the very first time ever - couch and a rocking chair. They were both floor models that just happened to be perfect for the space in my town home.
5. Gryffindor - He's had some health scares this year, but he pulled through. I feel like I am confirming just how much I love and value him every time I drive to the vet to buy his ridiculously expensive food.