Alex and I arrived at our church parking lot on Saturday morning and walked into the almost cliched crowed of kids standing around in clusters, about to board the white church school bus, their luggage piled in a near by van, this is a large Life Event. Kids from nice homes are being abandoned by their parents in broad day light and sent off to church camp in the hopes that it will jump start the process of the confirmation of their Christian faith.
Most Christian denominations that practice infant baptism, like us United Methodist, have some means of forcing their twelve year olds, to take an oath of confirmation so that they can become, "full members" of the church. For us, this is a slow and life defining process. There is more drama in this parking lot than the most dramatic pictures on the silver screen. At twelve most kids are struggling to decided who they are and where they fit and now we add on the question of Who You Are In Christ. Its a loaded question that know sane twelve year old who takes it seriously can answer.
In moments like these I am reminded that my childhood is not far removed from Alex's. Five years separate the moment I was confirmed in the church and her birth. That is insane when I think about that way. I like to think that my involvement in these things do a lot to remind the other parents that no matter what they do, no matter where they live, these defenseless, clueless, helpless children will grow up all too soon. Parents are defenseless when it comes to protecting their children from perhaps that one bad choice that will forever alter the course of their lives.
When I was that twelve year old kid ready to launch into the world of campfire songs and wacky messy games and rope course team buildings, I had imagined that I would grow up to be musician who lived in the streets of New York City and had the power to magically changed the world. But life didn't happen that way. Instead I turned sixteen and had a baby. I eventually broke up with my baby's father and graduated from college with a degree that would allow me to work in law firm and assit in the defense of billion dollar corporations. Instead of moving to New York City I have stayed close to my neighborhood and my family. Instead of questioning my faith in God for all eternity (as I was sure I was distended to do when I almost entirely refused to be confirmed at twelve) my faith has become the one thing of which I am certain.
Some people believe that God has revealed His Truth to us and not other - the barbarians - and it is His will that we Train our children to know his Truth that they might grow to vanquish the others and be protected when death and destruction rain down from Heaven. Others believe that our understanding of God is incomplete but that He has bestowed Grace and this beautiful world on us, and other gifts, which should be shared, and we should walk softly and give thanks and praise His Name.
I'm not sure how we did on the softly part, but this weekend we tought the children to do a lot of walking, and sharing and appreciating of beauty - even those ants... and the roach in the cabin. While I came away from the weekend exhausted and I sit here Monday afternoon with a body that is reminding me rock climbing was never meant to be my calling, I give thanks for this day and the weekend, which was perfect.
Showing posts with label Sunday School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sunday School. Show all posts
Monday, September 20
Monday, March 29
Dispatch from the Palm Sunday Trenches
If your church is anything like mine, we call in reinforcements when Palm Sunday rolls around. The call goes out to all able bodied adults: "ALL HANDS ON DECK! We are about to hand 400+ children palm branches. Only YOU can stop the blood shed!"
Now, with younger children finding parents to help is not a hard job. Before the age of 8, most parents are convinced that every child EXPECT theirs is crazy and can not be trusted with sharp objects. They will volunteer in a fool hardy attempt to protect their little one. The problem is, the older the children are, the longer their parents have been involved in the process of raising kids. The more they realize that ALL children are evil, including theirs, and they want nothing more than to be as far away from the fray as possible. Parents have dispensed of the "please don't... " and go straight for the "I can and will kill you!" attitude.
I suppose it was with this hart that our lovely Palm Sunday volunteers arrived in my room of 4th and 5th graders. I had already sat them down for a pep talk about waving the palm branches with energy. You see, at this age, its not really that they will try to kill each all with palm whips, its that they are just "too cool" to be seen waving a palm branch with an expression that might be mistaken for joy or even mild amusement. I talked about remembering the reason we are doing this. To celebrate Jesus. That I understand the exercise seems juvenile, but we have to remember that little kids and blue haired church ladies love this kind of thing. Do you want to be responsible for crushing the dreams of blue haired church ladies and small innocent children? So when you are out there waving your palm, think about the spirit and meaning of what you are doing. I want you to try and think about the kind of spirit that Jesus would want you to have while you are out there setting an example for the little kids. Remember, this is a celebration so act like you are having fun.
But my Palm Sunday volunteers were running late. They had missed this pep talk. They had missed seeing the boys agree that they would at least attempt to not look pissed off while they waved palm branches. Instead they volunteers saw 40 excited kids fighting for the best spot in line. They saw yammering and fart jokes being passed around. Eyeing the boxes of donuts I had stacked up in the corner, one volunteer took what she felt was preemptive action.
"I see that there are donuts waiting for you when you come back to the room. Just know that if you don't behave, if we have to report to Ms. Katy that you are acting too silly no one is going to get any donuts."
To which, one of my very witty 5th grade boys immediately replied:
"I don't think fear and intimidation is the kid of spirit Jesus would want us to have in our hearts while we celebrate him in church."
Never one to miss a teachable moment I immediately collapsed into laughter while the parents stood there speechless. I finally composed myself enough to say, "Garrison, you are awesome." And the class filed out the door. At least I know one kid was half way listening to what I said.
Now, with younger children finding parents to help is not a hard job. Before the age of 8, most parents are convinced that every child EXPECT theirs is crazy and can not be trusted with sharp objects. They will volunteer in a fool hardy attempt to protect their little one. The problem is, the older the children are, the longer their parents have been involved in the process of raising kids. The more they realize that ALL children are evil, including theirs, and they want nothing more than to be as far away from the fray as possible. Parents have dispensed of the "please don't... " and go straight for the "I can and will kill you!" attitude.
I suppose it was with this hart that our lovely Palm Sunday volunteers arrived in my room of 4th and 5th graders. I had already sat them down for a pep talk about waving the palm branches with energy. You see, at this age, its not really that they will try to kill each all with palm whips, its that they are just "too cool" to be seen waving a palm branch with an expression that might be mistaken for joy or even mild amusement. I talked about remembering the reason we are doing this. To celebrate Jesus. That I understand the exercise seems juvenile, but we have to remember that little kids and blue haired church ladies love this kind of thing. Do you want to be responsible for crushing the dreams of blue haired church ladies and small innocent children? So when you are out there waving your palm, think about the spirit and meaning of what you are doing. I want you to try and think about the kind of spirit that Jesus would want you to have while you are out there setting an example for the little kids. Remember, this is a celebration so act like you are having fun.
But my Palm Sunday volunteers were running late. They had missed this pep talk. They had missed seeing the boys agree that they would at least attempt to not look pissed off while they waved palm branches. Instead they volunteers saw 40 excited kids fighting for the best spot in line. They saw yammering and fart jokes being passed around. Eyeing the boxes of donuts I had stacked up in the corner, one volunteer took what she felt was preemptive action.
"I see that there are donuts waiting for you when you come back to the room. Just know that if you don't behave, if we have to report to Ms. Katy that you are acting too silly no one is going to get any donuts."
To which, one of my very witty 5th grade boys immediately replied:
"I don't think fear and intimidation is the kid of spirit Jesus would want us to have in our hearts while we celebrate him in church."
Never one to miss a teachable moment I immediately collapsed into laughter while the parents stood there speechless. I finally composed myself enough to say, "Garrison, you are awesome." And the class filed out the door. At least I know one kid was half way listening to what I said.
Monday, January 11
Fun in Sunday School
This Sunday learned about the miracle of Jesus healing the lepers and the one who came back to say thank you.
In teaching this lesson I explained to the children that leprosy is a highly contagious disease so when a person got it, they would be forced to leave their community and live outside of town. They were cut off from their families. They couldn't play with their friends any more.
Daphene: Were they allowed to call their families?
Emerson: They didn't have phones back then. They didn't even have e-mail!
(not their real names)
As a side note, in my research for teaching this one I found a lesson that included instructions for a bizarre twist on the classic tag game, "Stuck in the Mud." In this version one kid is leprosy. He has a sheet of dot stickers. When the game starts he chases the other children and puts a sticker on them, giving them leprosy. Once a child has leprosy they can't move. Another child plays the roll of Jesus. Jesus is to run around and "cleanse" the leprosy kids by taking off their sticker allowing them to re-join the game.
Now, is it just me or does this game just seem WRONG. Not only are you leading a group of children in collectively mocking people with a very serious disease that continues to destroy people's lives, but as my oldest nephew pointed out, leprosy tag sounds like something out of an episode of South Park where they point out the irrationality of Christian fundamentalist wackos.
In teaching this lesson I explained to the children that leprosy is a highly contagious disease so when a person got it, they would be forced to leave their community and live outside of town. They were cut off from their families. They couldn't play with their friends any more.
Daphene: Were they allowed to call their families?
Emerson: They didn't have phones back then. They didn't even have e-mail!
(not their real names)
As a side note, in my research for teaching this one I found a lesson that included instructions for a bizarre twist on the classic tag game, "Stuck in the Mud." In this version one kid is leprosy. He has a sheet of dot stickers. When the game starts he chases the other children and puts a sticker on them, giving them leprosy. Once a child has leprosy they can't move. Another child plays the roll of Jesus. Jesus is to run around and "cleanse" the leprosy kids by taking off their sticker allowing them to re-join the game.
Now, is it just me or does this game just seem WRONG. Not only are you leading a group of children in collectively mocking people with a very serious disease that continues to destroy people's lives, but as my oldest nephew pointed out, leprosy tag sounds like something out of an episode of South Park where they point out the irrationality of Christian fundamentalist wackos.
Tuesday, December 15
Jesus Poops
I have been teaching Sunday School again this month. Its getting closer to Christmas and the kids have had plenty to say. I have learned long ago that if you expect them to sit in rapt silence as you tick off points of theology, you're in the wrong place. This last week I found this especially true. I had AJ in my class. I have taught a lot of AJs through the years. Those special boys who make plenty of noise, but not much of it about religion.
I have come to appreciate that noise. (It's the quiet brooders like me you have to worry about, right?) If you give the AJs some space, let them fly a paper airplane or two, they let you say your piece. I think God prefers honest revelry to board and false piety.
We sat in a circle on the floor and talked about Isaiah and his prophecy. "What is a prophecy?" And now they are silent. If you want to quiet a room of squirming 4th and 5th graders just ask them to participate in a theological discussion.
"Have any of you read Harry Potter or seen the 5th movie?" The room is filled again will excited voices all scrambling for their answers to be heard. The chosen one. Yes. Kind of. The difference being, of course, that Jesus was not The chosen one. He was not a Moses or David. We talked about the miraculous story of how God sent Himself to Earth in human form. And the kids rattled off the story of how Mary and Joseph journeyed to Bethlehem where no rooms were available at the inn (it was the holidays, after all), and so God was born in a stable, wrapped in cloths and laid in a feed trough and worshipped by shepherds summoned by angels and by Eastern dignitaries who had followed a star.
And? That was always what I wanted to know. So what? Why is this baby important? Because he grew up to be a wonderful counselor, an everlasting father, a prince of peace. He taught us to love our neighbors, to help people. I explained that Jesus, the baby grew up, and did the things Isaiah vaguely describes. (Vague promises are the key to any great prophecy.)
AJ was getting restless. He asked me if I thought baby Jesus ever had poopy diapers. Of course he did. I think he even cried. The next question was about farts. Boyhood never takes a break, even when the Holy Messiah is on his way.
I have come to appreciate that noise. (It's the quiet brooders like me you have to worry about, right?) If you give the AJs some space, let them fly a paper airplane or two, they let you say your piece. I think God prefers honest revelry to board and false piety.
We sat in a circle on the floor and talked about Isaiah and his prophecy. "What is a prophecy?" And now they are silent. If you want to quiet a room of squirming 4th and 5th graders just ask them to participate in a theological discussion.
"Have any of you read Harry Potter or seen the 5th movie?" The room is filled again will excited voices all scrambling for their answers to be heard. The chosen one. Yes. Kind of. The difference being, of course, that Jesus was not The chosen one. He was not a Moses or David. We talked about the miraculous story of how God sent Himself to Earth in human form. And the kids rattled off the story of how Mary and Joseph journeyed to Bethlehem where no rooms were available at the inn (it was the holidays, after all), and so God was born in a stable, wrapped in cloths and laid in a feed trough and worshipped by shepherds summoned by angels and by Eastern dignitaries who had followed a star.
And? That was always what I wanted to know. So what? Why is this baby important? Because he grew up to be a wonderful counselor, an everlasting father, a prince of peace. He taught us to love our neighbors, to help people. I explained that Jesus, the baby grew up, and did the things Isaiah vaguely describes. (Vague promises are the key to any great prophecy.)
AJ was getting restless. He asked me if I thought baby Jesus ever had poopy diapers. Of course he did. I think he even cried. The next question was about farts. Boyhood never takes a break, even when the Holy Messiah is on his way.
Monday, September 21
Blessing of the Beatitudes
I wish I could take credit for it, but in all honestly I was in such a "why the fuck am I teaching Sunday School when my plane landed at 10:00 last night" haze that the only thing I clearly remember saying yesterday was "....Beatitudes is a fancy name for Blessings. This is part of Moses' Sermon on the Mount. No, not Moses, God... no wait.... it was Jesus." Yeah, I was with it.
But somehow, through my cleaver use of bubble gum and remote control cars, at the end of the lesson, when I gathered the screaming monkey children in a circle and asked them what they learned, one of them said this... "That there are road blocks in life and you have to decide what you are going to do." Then another one said this... "Sometimes what you do might help or hurt someone else. And you should try to help other people and not hurt them." Then another said... "If everyone tries to do the best thing for everyone and not just them, everyone can be happier." The heavens were parting. I could hear the course of angels singing sweetly in the background. Just when I was starting to think I was hallucinating one very sweet, hyperactive boy just had to add... "I learned that crashing a remote control car into the wall is fun." Thanks for pinching me kid.
But somehow, through my cleaver use of bubble gum and remote control cars, at the end of the lesson, when I gathered the screaming monkey children in a circle and asked them what they learned, one of them said this... "That there are road blocks in life and you have to decide what you are going to do." Then another one said this... "Sometimes what you do might help or hurt someone else. And you should try to help other people and not hurt them." Then another said... "If everyone tries to do the best thing for everyone and not just them, everyone can be happier." The heavens were parting. I could hear the course of angels singing sweetly in the background. Just when I was starting to think I was hallucinating one very sweet, hyperactive boy just had to add... "I learned that crashing a remote control car into the wall is fun." Thanks for pinching me kid.
Tuesday, July 21
Sunday School Lesson - King Solomon
Note: I wrote the lesson, but I didn't teach it. From what I heard though, this story was new to most of the kids. I don't know if that is because our church tends to focus more on life lessons than the actual bible stories or if this has been ignored in the curriculum because of the whole "cut the baby in half thing." Either way, I think this is a story that should be taught if for no other reason than it is referred to time and again throughout English Literature. Any way... the lesson:
King Solomon
Verse: 1 Kings 3:16-28
As kids come in have them write down one thing to be used for a guessing game later. It can be an object, bible character or story, cartoon, movie, place, classroom object etc. Encourage the kids to think of as many different things a possible. You might want to add some bible things in there as well. As you teach the lesson, have a volunteer go through the papers and make sure that each one has something legible written on it and that it is church appropriate.
Joys/Concerns
Bible Lesson: Explain that during the history of the people of Israel there was a time when God appointed kings to rule over them. See if they know who any of the kings were (Saul, David and Solomon). Each King was known for different things. Saul was a great military leader. David was known for his faith in God and Solomon was known for his wisdom. A story in the bible tells us that when David died and Solomon was to become king God ask Solomon what one gift he would like to have. (Kind of like a free wish). Solomon could have asked for anything, power, money but he asked for wisdom so that he would be able to be a good king for the people of Israel.
Have them read the story from the bible. 1 Kings 3:16-28. (In the kids bible, it referred to the women as prostitutes. I'm not sure what is up with that. I don't remember that ever being part of the story. Anyway for this lesson the teacher just read the story out of her bible which simply said, "two women".)
Discussion: How did Solomon know who the mother of the baby was? Ask if they can think of anyone wise people in our lives today (Parents, Teachers, Ministers, President). Why is it important to have wisdom? (Make good choices, help to make wrong situations right)
Games: The bowl game (Lets see how wise you are!)
Rules: (Like the game Password) Divide into 2 teams. (you might want to have an adult sit by each team to be referee.) Place the bowl of the kids’ suggestions in the middle of the room. Each team will need to pick a representative to go to the bowl for the start of the game. When you say go, the kids at the bowl will each take one piece of paper with a word on it and return to their team. They will then need to describe the word or phrase (with out saying it) to their team. Once the team has guessed the word, another kid will go to the bowl and draw a new word. (Each team is allowed one pass). Every member of the team has to describe a word before anyone is allowed to be the word describer person for a second time. Once the bowl has run out of papers, the team that guessed the most words wins
King Solomon
Verse: 1 Kings 3:16-28
As kids come in have them write down one thing to be used for a guessing game later. It can be an object, bible character or story, cartoon, movie, place, classroom object etc. Encourage the kids to think of as many different things a possible. You might want to add some bible things in there as well. As you teach the lesson, have a volunteer go through the papers and make sure that each one has something legible written on it and that it is church appropriate.
Joys/Concerns
Bible Lesson: Explain that during the history of the people of Israel there was a time when God appointed kings to rule over them. See if they know who any of the kings were (Saul, David and Solomon). Each King was known for different things. Saul was a great military leader. David was known for his faith in God and Solomon was known for his wisdom. A story in the bible tells us that when David died and Solomon was to become king God ask Solomon what one gift he would like to have. (Kind of like a free wish). Solomon could have asked for anything, power, money but he asked for wisdom so that he would be able to be a good king for the people of Israel.
Have them read the story from the bible. 1 Kings 3:16-28. (In the kids bible, it referred to the women as prostitutes. I'm not sure what is up with that. I don't remember that ever being part of the story. Anyway for this lesson the teacher just read the story out of her bible which simply said, "two women".)
Discussion: How did Solomon know who the mother of the baby was? Ask if they can think of anyone wise people in our lives today (Parents, Teachers, Ministers, President). Why is it important to have wisdom? (Make good choices, help to make wrong situations right)
Games: The bowl game (Lets see how wise you are!)
Rules: (Like the game Password) Divide into 2 teams. (you might want to have an adult sit by each team to be referee.) Place the bowl of the kids’ suggestions in the middle of the room. Each team will need to pick a representative to go to the bowl for the start of the game. When you say go, the kids at the bowl will each take one piece of paper with a word on it and return to their team. They will then need to describe the word or phrase (with out saying it) to their team. Once the team has guessed the word, another kid will go to the bowl and draw a new word. (Each team is allowed one pass). Every member of the team has to describe a word before anyone is allowed to be the word describer person for a second time. Once the bowl has run out of papers, the team that guessed the most words wins
Sunday, July 12
Sunday School Lesson - Ruth
We made bread for this lesson because in the story Ruth is gathering wheat to make bread for her and Naomi to eat. And on a feminist side note... I was flipping through several children's stories to for ideas of how to tell this story. In three out of the four books I looked in the title given to this story had nothing to do with Ruth. While stories about David and Daniel have titles like "Boy killed Giant" and "Daniel was brave", I found titles of Ruth story that read, "Helping a Friend" and worst of all, "Boaz was kind". Girls don't have a lot of stories in the bible at all. When they do show up, I don't see why we need to make them into secondary characters.
Okay, rant over... here is the lesson:
Making Pretzels: We started with this to give the pretzels time to bake. We have 3 kids in our class with wheat and glutton allergies so I bought a wheat/glutton free bread mix from the store and followed the directions. I made the dough ahead of time, and made about two inch wide dough balls and refigerated them. Give each kid one piece of dough and wax paper. Roll the dough into a worm. Fold into the shape of a pretzel. Brush egg wash on pretzel and add salt if desired. Bake as directed (you can also use Pillsbury bread sticks for this)
Joys and Concerns/Opening Prayer
Story
Game: Balloon Sandwich
Rules: Ruth and Naomi were great friends. Ruth left her homeland to help Naomi. Naomi thanked Ruth when she helped her by gathering food. Now we are going to play a game of friend helping each other.
Form 2 teams then everyone will need a partner. The first two pairs will step up to the start line and face their chair 10 ft. away. Each pair will hold a balloon between them, back to back. They will have to walk around the chair and return to the start and pass the balloon to the next pair.
Eat pretzels
Closing: Today we learned that when friends love one another they care, they share, they help and they look out for each other.
Okay, rant over... here is the lesson:
Making Pretzels: We started with this to give the pretzels time to bake. We have 3 kids in our class with wheat and glutton allergies so I bought a wheat/glutton free bread mix from the store and followed the directions. I made the dough ahead of time, and made about two inch wide dough balls and refigerated them. Give each kid one piece of dough and wax paper. Roll the dough into a worm. Fold into the shape of a pretzel. Brush egg wash on pretzel and add salt if desired. Bake as directed (you can also use Pillsbury bread sticks for this)
Joys and Concerns/Opening Prayer
Story
Game: Balloon Sandwich
Rules: Ruth and Naomi were great friends. Ruth left her homeland to help Naomi. Naomi thanked Ruth when she helped her by gathering food. Now we are going to play a game of friend helping each other.
Form 2 teams then everyone will need a partner. The first two pairs will step up to the start line and face their chair 10 ft. away. Each pair will hold a balloon between them, back to back. They will have to walk around the chair and return to the start and pass the balloon to the next pair.
Eat pretzels
Closing: Today we learned that when friends love one another they care, they share, they help and they look out for each other.
Wednesday, July 1
Sunday School Lesson
I am going to start a new series. Sunday School Lessons for 3rd-5th graders. I have been writing lessons for this age group for years now and I am continually disappointed by the lack of original ideas out there. So this is to help anyone who might be searching google for lesson ideas. These are summer lessons so they each stand on their own. I try to use a little resources as possible, or use resources already available to my church.
Anyway.... first lesson.
Made in God’s Image
Verse: Genesis 1:26-28
Opening: Joys and Concerns/Offering
Game: Shorts and Mingle
Shorts Rules: We are going to start with shorts. Everyone starts in the middle of the room. I will name two things. You will have 3 seconds to join the group of the one you like best. First group will go to the back of the room and the second group will go to the stage.
Categories: Movies/Books; fancy/casual; Donkeys/Donuts; singing/ dancing; swimming/kickball; etc.
Mingle Rules: I am going to give you a category the first one will be FAVORITE CANDY BAR. Think about what your favorite candy bar is. Now you have 30 seconds to mingle and form a group of people who like the same candy bar as you. Its okay if you end up in a group by yourself, but if there are two separate groups of people who like the same candy bar it means you didn’t do a good job of mingling and you are out. GO!
Other categories: Toothpaste Flavor; favorite subject in school; Best vacation spot; favorite ice cream flavor
Anyway.... first lesson.
Made in God’s Image
Verse: Genesis 1:26-28
Opening: Joys and Concerns/Offering
Game: Shorts and Mingle
Shorts Rules: We are going to start with shorts. Everyone starts in the middle of the room. I will name two things. You will have 3 seconds to join the group of the one you like best. First group will go to the back of the room and the second group will go to the stage.
Categories: Movies/Books; fancy/casual; Donkeys/Donuts; singing/ dancing; swimming/kickball; etc.
Mingle Rules: I am going to give you a category the first one will be FAVORITE CANDY BAR. Think about what your favorite candy bar is. Now you have 30 seconds to mingle and form a group of people who like the same candy bar as you. Its okay if you end up in a group by yourself, but if there are two separate groups of people who like the same candy bar it means you didn’t do a good job of mingling and you are out. GO!
Other categories: Toothpaste Flavor; favorite subject in school; Best vacation spot; favorite ice cream flavor
Note: The kids loved the mingle game. They didn't want to stop playing
Lesson: Even though God created each of us different in many ways, we are also alike in many others. Read the bible verse. The Bible tells us that we are all created in the image of God.
What is an image? Does being created in God’s image mean that we look like God? (The point: We are created to reflect God's love in our actions and our choices.)
Snack: Ice Cream Sundaes (we just happened to have the stuff left over from another event. You don't have to do ice cream, the point is to have the kids serve each other.): We had the 5th graders scoop the ice cream for everyone, the 3rd graders helped with different syrups and the 4th graders helped with sprinkles so everyone served someone else.
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