I'm fiddling with the layout of the blog. If it looks like I'm not sure which direction I want to take the design it's because I'm not. I'm just fiddlin' at the moment. So excuse the mess.
And now for a completely random segway...
Alex, my one and only baby is in 8th grade this year. Part of being in 8th grade means your parents get to buy an ad in the yearbook to congratulate you on graduating to high school... and show you how much they love you.
Alex wanted final approval on whatever picture I might choose to use so I let her pick 10 pictures that would be acceptable. She didn't want me to use a picture of her in a princess dress so this ruled out almost every picture I have of her under the age of 5. She also didn't want me to use a picture of her making a silly face or joking around. This ruled out almost every picture I have of her. She finally settled on 5 workable options. Here are 3 I chose:
This is Alex at our local rock climbing gym. I feel like I spend half of my life driving her here. I'm always in awe when I have the chance to see people do something that they truly love. Alex has a true love and passion for this sport.
This is Alex on our most recent trip to Disney World. She is standing next to Bo, the 1950s cut out.
No, I don't know why either. Which makes it all the more fun.
This is Alex when she was 2 years old. I'm pretty sure she was officially the cutest 2 year old ever to walk the earth.
It was recently pointed out to me that I haven't posted in over a year. I'm not sure why. A lot has happened, and a lot hasn't changed. I have nothing of note to say at the moment, just random offerings, but I think it gives you an idea of where my head is right now.
German
theological vocab word of the day:Sitz Im Laben.
This is a phrase the German theologians used to shift the focus of reading the
bible from a historical reading point of view to that of reading legend.
So we aren't looking for the "What is happening in this bible story?" as much
as we are looking for the sitz im laben - "Why is this story being told?" An important distinction to make I think.
-I have just saved you about 100 pages of reading and hours of class lectures... you're welcome.
Random Quote from my music library: "It's not the end of
everything it's just the end of everything you know ... head vs heart equals bicycle vs a car."
- Bob Schneider, "Bicycle vs Car" from Lovely Creatures
Alex Quote from Friday:
"Are you going to turn that down when we get to school? Cause I'm going
to open the door, and I have to live with these people 8 hours a day 5
days a week and I don't want them to think I listen to that stuff...
It's YOUR music, not mine."
-We
were listening to Nirvana when she said this. Can I just add that it breaks my heart a
little that she disowns Nirvana which was my all time favorite band when
I was her age. At the same time, that she can't identify with Kurt
Cobain's lyrics is probably a very good thing.
Insight from my spiritual director:
The most complicated role in life I am tackling at the moment is
"mother." That the best thing I can do is to pray for my daughter every
day. The best best thing is that I reminder her, tell her, show her
that I love her every single day - no matter what. The rest is in God's
hands.
-
I found this to be really powerful and so I just wanted to pass it on
even though I realize you might have theological differences.
On a Political Note: What the hell America? Let's just stop, realize that we are human beings and then start over - this time with dignity and understanding.
Monday, January 23
Joshua Bell signing my CD - photo by Alex
One of my first celebrity crushes. I don't think I will ever stop loving Joshua Bell. He was in Houston on Friday playing a recital concert. After two hours of painting beautiful music with his violin, Bell sat in the lobby and signed autographs. He has a new CD out, so of course he was signing CDs, but he was also signing programs. Meaning the line was insane. Still, when we walked up he smiled. Shook our hands, asked Alex what her name was and if she enjoyed the concert. Like an idiot I was just smiling repeating, "Thank you for doing this, you are really wonderful" over and over again.
I was going to post a youtube video of him playing here, but I've spent the last hour watching videos. Now it is time for bed and I still can't decided which one to post. I'll leave it up to you to google him if you want. I hope you get lost in the music too.
For the first time in what seemed like a life time, I my schedule was open and free. When I was at home I could just be at home. Our house had one rule: No Multitasking. It was fabulous.
Christmas morning when Alex and I stumbled out of bed we opened the smattering of presents under the tree and watched the Disney Parks Commercial Parade. It was fabulous.
Christmas night the dull pain that had been nagging on the right side of my back all day turned into a sharp stabbing pain and I was up all night. In pain and sick. Long story short I ended up in the ER the next morning. Longer story short it turns out, I[probably] have "sticky blood." In other words blood is prone to clotting. Probably. This [probably] explains the odd shooting pains that I have been experiencing over the past several months.
I'm now on blood thinning medication. A shot. Thankfully I have a wonderful friend who is also a nurse. Because while the Hematologist was confident I could inject myself with the "short" needle. He didn't take into account how much I hate needles. Hopefully I he puts me on a pill form of the medicine soon. I don't don't if Nurse Curly Locks can inject me every day for the rest of my life. Needles aside, the medicine has worked. I feel better. I'm not in pain. The clot that was in my kidney is probably gone. They will follow me closely for the next six months to a year and see if this really is what they think it is. And figure out long term treatment options. Apparently once a person has sticky blood they always have sticky blood. [insert gratuitous call for healthcare reform here].
So today, since I was feeling 100 percent normal again I called my sister, the yuppie lawyer, and demanded she take me to the Museum of Fine Arts Houston to see the incredibly wonderful documentary, Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey. See this movie. Bring a box of tissues. Kevin Clash, the puppeteer who created and portrays Elmo is an amazing human being. Inspiring.
And since today is New Years Eve, I have to add that I am incredibly grateful for all of the people that have walked across my path this year. The opportunities I have been given have been amazing and challenging. I have gained new knowledge and I have gained a better understanding of who it is I am in God. I look forward to continuing my journey, to continuing to learn how to move over so that God can walk this path with me.
Last night, in honor of Halloween Alex wanted to watch a scary movie. I don't own any horror slasher flicks, not that I think there is inherently wrong with them I just don't enjoy having the crap scared out of me and I don't find violence to be entertaining.
So we looked to see what was offered by way of streaming on Netflix. The answer to THAT was not much, but they did have Night of the Living Dead. A classic. We got to the part where the zombies chase the girl into the house and we had to turn it off. Alex was too scared. So we watched Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein instead. Spooky, but funny - my idea of a good time. And it got me thinking. What are my all time favorite Halloween movies. I came up with my top five - the order is subject to change.
5. Spaced Invaders - I haven't found this movie anywhere recently. It was made in the early 1990s about four aliens who crash land in a small town in Iowa on Halloween night. Hilarity ensues.
4. Arsenic and Old Lace - I'm not sure how many times that play has been made into a movie, but I love the version with Cary Grant. Fun, scary and the fact that Boris Karloff plays Jonathen - the mass murdering brother who "looks like Boris Karloff" makes it even better.
3. Meet Me in St. Louis - I know, it's not a classic Halloween film, but Halloween in is in it. I can still hear Margret O'Brian crying, chocking back tears... "HE TRIED TO KILL ME!"
2. It's the Great Pumkin Charlie Brown - needs no explanation.
1. The Mummy - with Boris Karloff. To me, this is the classic 1950s horror film. Karloff is scary beyond all reason and gives you all the suspense and none of the gore.
Today, 70 percent of American households will open their doors and offer candy to strangers, most of them children; 50 percent of Americans will take photographs of family or friends in costume; and the nation as a whole will spend more than seven billion dollars.* In terms of dollars spent, it is the second most popular holiday of the year in this country, after Christmas.
For the Celtic people of Northeastern Europe, November 1st was New Year's Day, and October 31 was the last night of the year. Celts believed it was the night that spirits, ghosts, fairies and goblins freely walked the earth. Archaeologists aren't entirely sure what all the traditions were, but they believe the holiday involved bonfires, dressing up in costumes to scare away evil spirits, and offering food and drink to the spirits of family members who had come back to visit the home.
It was Pope Gregory III in the eighth century A.D. who tried to turn Halloween into a Christian holiday to divert Northern Europeans from celebrating an old pagan ritual. He made November 1st All Saints Day, and October 31 became All Hallows Eve. Instead of providing food and drink to the spirits, Christians were encouraged to provide food and drink to the poor. And instead of dressing up like animals and ghosts, Christians were encouraged to dress up like their favorite saints.
In the United States, Puritans tried to outlaw Halloween, in part because of its association with Catholicism. So it was the Irish Catholics who brought Halloween to this country, when they immigrated here in great numbers after the potato famine in the 1840's. Since the Irish were largely poor and oppressed, Halloween became a holiday for them to let off steam by pulling pranks, hoisting wagons onto barn roofs, releasing cows from their pastures, and committing all kinds of mischief involving outhouses. Treats evolved as a way to bribe the vandals and protect homes.
But by the late 1800's, Victorian women's magazines began to offer suggestions for celebrating Halloween in wholesome ways, with barn dancing and apple bobbing. And by the early 20th Century, it became a holiday for children more than adults. In 1920, the Ladies' Home Journal made the first known reference to children going door to door for candy, and by the 1950's it was a universal practice in this country. By 1999, 92 percent of America's children were trick-or-treating.
What's interesting about Halloween is that it has no real connection to the majority religion of this country, it does not celebrate an event in our nation's past, it does not involve traveling to visit family, and it doesn't even give us a day off work. But it gives us the chance to try out other identities. For one day, people can feel free to dress as the opposite gender, as criminals, as superheroes, celebrities, animals, or even inanimate objects. But Halloween retailers report that the most popular costumes remain some variation on witches, ghosts, and devils.
*according to an article I say on yahoo this morning.. and the 92 percent thing is something I read a while ago, it may not actually be 92 percent, but it was 90 something.
Today my daughter went to our local water park with the youth group at church. And I thought... that's just what I need today of all days - just something fun.
School has started for both me and Alex. I wish I could say that the business of it all has kept me from posting, but it something way worse. My computer is dead. I used to brag on my Dell Notebook. I bought it wne I xtarted undergrade and it's been like the little engine that could ever since.... until it wasn't. I'm going to get a new one this weekend. I suppose a new computer every ten years isn't so bad.
Of course Alex wanted me to get a Mac until I pointd out that I could possibly get to PCs for the price of one Mac. Not that I'm geting two.... I was just pointing that out.
Still tonight we are off to the mall. Alex has been asking to be dropped off at the mall with a friend of hers. I don't think we are quite at that level yet. I'm just going to let them go to the Apple store by themseleves while I'll be at the Apple store looking at laptops and tring to figure out what all the fuss is about. Yes, we will be in the same store. No, we will not be together. No, it's not what Alex had in mind. And just for the record - I'm the meanest mom in America. Don't beliveme? Just asm Alex. She totally back me up on that one.
Saturday was one of those perfect summer days. Where by the early evening you feel happy, tired, but at the same time refreshed. If that makes any sense. We had gone to the local science museum, seen exhibits of ancient Ukraine, dinosaur bones and fossils, and then gone for ice cream. One of those days where no one rolled their eyes at me, or at least not much, this is reality after all, and things just seemed easy.
It was one of the days that I wish mothering was solely made up of.
We got home and were sitting on the couch. I felt like we could be in one of those Country Time Lemonade commercials. Sticky with ice cream, smiling, colored in sepia tones.
I love this house. I love the size, the shape, the red door. I love the way it sits at the end of a long dirt drive way. I love the trees, the monstrous yard. I love that this looks like a cottage in the woods, when really its located in the middle of the city.
This house, my dream house was recently sold. I am now hoping against hope that they owners love this house the way I do. That they will live in this house and make it a home. But I'm afraid that like so many other houses in our city the owners look at this lot and see just that... a lot with land on which to build a McMansion.
The day Alex was scheduled to return home she missed her flight. I love how the people who heard this wanted to know how that happened. It seems like the premise of epic tale of struggle and woe. And I guess it could have been if you think about the guy who recently died from playing is Xbox because that was what she was doing with her father two hours before her plane was scheduled to be in the air. In their defense, her father likes to point out that the airline moved the departure time up by 15 minutes.
Whatever the true cause, she missed the last flight out of Small Town California so I was just going to have to wait to see my baby. I had to WAIT. This waiting went on for DAYS. Ok - Hours. Many, many hours. As many hours as there are between 12 PM Saturday and 3 PM Sunday, which doesn't seem like many right now, but at the time, as the minutes were amplified by my baby's absence and the thought that she would miss the next flight as well, it seemed like all of the hours that ever were, a collection of time so vast that I could have witnessed the Colorado River carve out the Grand Canyon, one layer of dirt at a time.
When she finally arrived home her eyes were glued to her new iTouch. Curse you Steve Jobs and all your fancy products and seductive marketing. I guess on the bright side of things she wasn't all that bothered when I left her a few days later to attend a gathering of Exploring Candidates. It was interesting and refreshing to meet other people who are heeding the call to ordained ministry. And the fact that the Candidates got to take the written portion of the psychological test assessment together made the three hour ordeal just a little bit easier because not so secretly everyone knows we're bat-shit-crazy. Why else would we be there?
As fun as that was - the best part of the weekend had to Sunday after noon when we went to see Smurfs. I'm not saying that you should rush to your nearest theater so see this one. Its cheesy ball and predictable and just plan dumb in parts, but as a person who was raised by Smurfs and Doogie Howser, M.D. it was an opportunity to relive the best parts of childhood for 90 minutes. The day they remake He-Man and the Masters of the Universe and She-Ra Princese of Power my life will have come full circle.
Did you know that we are in a drought here? I will admit that it is sometimes difficult for me to remember that it isn’t just one sunny day after another. It is strange how quickly I have become accustom to not checking the predicted weather reports before daring to walk outside.
Fourth of July in this area was odd as cities and counties banned the use of fireworks and even many professional venues canceled their shows. Apparently the country club my parents live near had confidence in their manicured lawn's ability to not burst into flames so last night I found myself sitting in a gas station parking lot. Its not the same as laying on a blanket in a dark grassy field. Not the same at all.
This year it was decided that it was too hot and dry to go to my friend's place in the country. There is a burn ban in their county as well and they haven't installed A/C in their cabin yet. So for the first time in years I was in the city for the Fourth and sitting in parking lot. I missed the ride in the pick-up bed from the cabin to the fair ground and the part where we find a grassy place to sit and pull the blankets and bug spray out of the Mary Poppins bag. We had no children with our group at the parking lot so I missed the hour long build up of, “When are the fireworks going to start?” Okay, maybe I didn't miss that part.
But I missed what comes after that - when the fireworks start and we lay back on our blankets, limbs all tangled together, and the kids cheer and clap. The whining and the hassle of getting there seems unimportant. Suddenly, it's not too hot or buggy. Suddenly everything feels just right. And that was what I missed last night.
* ... that when I complain to my sister, the yuppie lawyer, about the fact that this whole seminary/candidacy process is kicking my butt - everyday I am asked to jump through a previously unimagined hoop that simultaneously puts my job and sanity at risk - the yuppie lawyer just looks at me and says, "You asked these people to torture you. And you can't complain about spending a weekend with Ministers if you are going to become a Minister."
* ... that Alex's reaction to seeing Chicago the Musical live on stage this weekend was, "That was weird."
* ... that the long tough battle for marriage equality if finally over in New York State. "In New York alone – there are approximately 10,600 same-sex couples raising more than 21,000 kids. Marriage will not only help provide children some measure of legal security, it sends a strong message to them that their families are recognized, validated and valued by society." - Family Equity Council.
* ... that it is so hot here in the swamp I find my self drenched in sweat after two minutes of playing Rumi Cube outside and drinking wine.
* ... that my friend Leigh turned 96 - yes 96! - which gave us all an excuse to play Rumi Cube and drink wine outside in the swamp.
On the last day of our holiday we woke up early to catch the monorail to Polynesian.
Blueberry pancakes and Kona coffee were calling my name.
We killed some time at the Magic Kingdom before we had to go to the airport. Here is a line from A.A. Milne which I saw while waiting in line for Winnie the Pooh's Adventure. It seemed appropriate for the day.
Later, while we waited for Grandma and Grandpa to turn in their scooters I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Could it be? Ye Ol' Pay Phone complete with Phone Book! Amazing.
I'm not going to lie, I was sad as I watched our Magical Express bus drive away after depositing us at the airport. I don't know when we will get to go back. Absence makes the heart grow founder... or so I'm told.
This was our last full day at the Walt Disney World Resort and all the hip people wanted to rent speed racer boats and head out on Seven Seas Lagoon and Bay Lake, but I don't have any pictures of that because my mom and were at the Magic Kingdom.
We went on the Jungle Cruise which is an all time favorite before hitting all the rides in Fantasyland. Yep, this is a picture I took of Fantasyland. They are expanding and reimagining this space which will open some time in 2012... or later.
Everyone met up with us for lunch after the boats. We ate that the Plaza which is a little restaurant on Main Street, right across from the castle. Sigh, isn't it beautiful? I hope Cinderella is living happily ever after in there....
After lunch I had to attend to some business so I went to the Business Center at our hotel. There wasn't a lot of stuff there to take pictures of so I present a wall of clocks, showing the current time in every Disney Park. I know, EXCITEMENT! Really the best part of my time spent there was this lovely couple who were shipping three gigantic boxes of presents to their grandchildren back home in Mississippi along with a huge, $12,000 Thomas Kinkade painting of Bambie. The most memorable quote, "If something gets mixed up its okay, we all live on the same 32 acres." That's code for they all have trailer homes on the same plot of land. I know this because some of my best friends live in double wides on their parent's property. I'm not passing judgment, only it leads me to wonder if they were really spending the settlement they received after their son died in an industrial accident wisely.
On day 5 we went to Epcot again with the rest of the family and headed straight to the Land Pravilion to ride Soarin. I took this picture from the entrance of the ride, and yes, those people up stairs are in line. I started to explain ride cycles, but realized that if you care you probably already know. Let's just say the capacity of Soarin is low which makes wait times insane.
Then it was back to the World Showcase where we stopped in Japen to see the candy lady. Here she is making the candy monkey that Alex requested.
When the afternoon Florida sun was just too much we went back to the hotel for a nap to play in the arcade. Lots of games equaled lots of fun.
The evening closed with cheese and ice wine from Canada. Wonderful.
Alex and I ditched the rest of the group on day 4 and headed back to our favorite park - Epcot.
After riding some rides in Future World, we headed to the World Showcase, where we teamed up with Kim Possible to save the world from evil villains.
After reporting to an Agent Station you are given a Kimmunicator. This allows you to talk to Kim, her sidekick Ron, and their technical guy Wade. Here we are in Germany where the villain is using special salt on pretzels to control the minds of unsuspecting citizens.
And now meet Duffy the Bear. No, he's not a Disney character, but he has invaded the parks. You see, you buy the $30 bear and then you can buy all sorts of $20 costumes to dress him up in. I didn't buy one because, I don't need a $50 stuffed animal, but he is cute - and everywhere - so I took a picture for prosperity.
Finally, before we left the park we stopped at Innovations. Innovations is meant to be that part of Future World that really lives up the the Epcot mantra of keeping up with the newest technologies so the space is a made up of interactive exhibits that are easily changed. Our favorite was the build your own roller coaster exhibit. You start with an introduction about how roller coasters work and then you get to step up to a computer and build your own virtual coaster. At the end you are strapped to the end of a robotic arm and you get to experience all the twist and turns of the track you created.
Our trip fell during a time at Disney's Hollywood Studios known as Star Wars Weekends. DHS turns into one large Star Wars Extravaganza so on Day 3 we had to go and be a part of it.
I don't know if the insane lines for character meet and greats we saw on this trip are a reflection of the time of year (it's summer so there were a lot more kids than when we go in the fall) or if people have just really lost their minds. At one point there was a 60 minute wait to see Princess Belle and Aurora on main street. As a rule, I don't wait more than 30 minutes for anything, but I especially can't imagine waiting that long to see a person dressed in a costume. That said, Alex and I were really excited to meet two of our favorite celebrities, Phineas and Ferb while we waited for our Fast Pass return time for our favorite DHS ride.
We took a ride on a hunted elevator and lived to tell about it.
We ended the day with a nice wine tasting meal at the Wave restaurant in our hotel. I had three examples of Pinot Nior - New Zealand, California and Australia - California was by far the best. Oh, and I had stake too.
On day 2 we lined up two hours early to see the Main Street Electrical Parade. There are a lot of advantages of lining up so early. Besides having the best viewing spot for both the parade and the fireworks is that you get to take pictures of random things that happen by... like balloons!
...and hot dogs....
...and wedding! No, these people aren't getting married, this is the picture of the happy couple getting a family wedding portrait made in front of the castle. (Well, the back of their family anyway).
Alex bought a light up mo hawk. Sometimes its best not to ask why...
When the parade started I handed my camera off to Alex. I've taken so many pictures of night time parades, it was time to pass the torch... or lens...
One of the things I found really funny was the fact that no one around us knew that this was Elliot and Pete from Pete's dragon. I don't often say this, but parents need to do a better job educating their children.
Really, this is an example of why I love going to Disney World so often. I know for most people a trip to "the World" is a once, maybe twice in a life time event. They have five or perhaps seven days to see all four parks with all the rides, shows and parades not to mention shop and swim in the hotel pool. So for a lot of people a trip to Disney is whirlwind. While we were sitting there I actually had someone stop and ask, "Why sit on the curb for two hours when there is so much to do?" Because I've seen/ridden it all, well most of it, the parts I care to see/ride, and now I want sit with my family and make goofy faces and take pictures of complete strangers.
On my birthday we left the house at the crake of dawn and headed to the most Magical Place on Earth.
When we arrived in Orlando we headed for our hotel, Disney's Contemporary Resort. The Contemporary was one of the two hotels that opened with the Magic Kingdom Park on October 1, 1971 so this year, as Walt Disney World celebrates its 40th, the Contemporary celebrates hers.
After check-in we caught the monorail to my favorite park, Epcot. Its no secret that Walt first concived E.P.C.O.T. not as a park, but as the Experomental Prototype Community of Tomorrow. It was Walt's dream to create the ultimate city of the future, but after his death it became clear that this particular dream just wasn't practical so it was left to the Disney Imagineers to figure out how to bring the spirit of Walt's dream to life. The Epcot of today is not a city, but a perminate World's Fair of sorts. Future World explores cutting edge technologies while the World Showcase celebrates the cultures of the eleven countries represented there.
We rode some of my favorite rides in Future World, including Spaceship Earth, Living With the Land and Journey Into Your Imagination. Above Alex is holding the famouse 18-story geodesic sphere that holds Spaceship Earth. Below are pictures of dragon fruite and a tomato tree taken inside the Epcot greenhouse as seen on the Living With the Land ride.
Then it was off to the World Showcase and a stop in Canada. We visited with the local shops and of course watched the movie, O'Canada staring Canadian Martin Short and featuring on of my favorite songs.
We toped off my birthday evening with a beer meal in Germany.
Tomorrow we are leaving for Walt Disney World AND tomorrow is also my 29th birthday. Although I think I reached a point several birthdays ago where turning a year older wasn't a socially acceptable thing to celebrate, I've relished in them. However, I have to say that this birthday in particular is the one I haven't been running towards with open arms. There is nothing even remotely redeeming about turning 29; it doesn't come with special privileges, and there isn't even a "turning 29" section in the birthday section at Hallmark. It's totally forgettable, and the only purpose it serves it to remind me that I'm still not even 30.
I guess I'm scared more than anything, not of getting old, but of what could possibly happen to me in this 29th year. I honestly thought my life couldn't get any more hectic than when I was 27, and then I turned 28 and all HELL broke loose: Alex went to middle school, I lost my job and started working for French people, I started hanging out with a guy, I've been accepted into seminary, moved upstairs, AND taught my daughter how to take a shower daily. You could say I'm a bit fatigued.
It's also weird because I've always been the youngest person in any group. I'm the youngest of three children, I was always one of the youngest people in my class at school, I'm always the youngest parent among Alex's friends, and I've always kept much older friends. Now this is all starting to change, and I'm the granny in the group. I find that when I tell a kid in college my age they sort of shudder with this look in their eyes, like, my god, this woman is ANCIENT, she actually remembers what it was like to be alive in the 80s! At church when I mingle with parents my age, their children are potty training. When I talk about my daughter's ipod downloads and ask for opinions on cellphone usage and study habits, all I get are blank stares. Really, it was almost better when people my age had no children.
I've decided that for my birthday I'm going to ask for things I know I can't have so that I won't be disappointed when I actually don't get them. Had I learned this trick at the age of five life would have been a much more enjoyable.
This list includes:
1. A vase of fresh flowers that won't die.
2. A brand new ibook.
3. A two and a half hour 3-D movie that contains nothing more than footage of Anderson Cooper reporting live from war-torn countries dressed in Prada and looking at the camera with those bright blue eyes.
4. A never ending pan of chocolate chip cookies that will not make me fat.
5. That my daughter will stop grunting and rolling her eyes at me.
6. Fresh, minty clean breath (and farts) for my dog.
7. A promise from God or Allah or whoever is in charge that this trip to Disney World where I spend six nights sharing a hotel room with both my mom AND my dad is not going to totally suck.
8. A functioning national public school system where the curriculum is set by educators and not self-serving political hacks.
9. Three fiery meteors hitting the earth, one on the headquarters of FOX NEWS, one on the headquarters of AT&T Wireless, and one on the head of Texas Governor Rick Perry. (Rick Perry is the devil, which should be obvious from his hair.)
