I have to say that something I find frustrating is the idea that there is a moment when a person is called to do something. Even if it isn't a lighting bolt there is suppose to be a divine whisper or a specific mentor or moment when the final piece of a thousand piece puzzle lands in just the right place. I don't feel "called" into ministry. I feel drawn.
Perhaps it is just semantics, but to me the words are different. I don't think I am fulfilling a call as much as I am continuing a journey to discover what it means to not just believe in God, but to love God, to travel with God, to see the world as God has created it.
I don’t know how to look at God. I don’t know where to look. I don’t know what to look for. It is God in us that loves God. And all we can do is get ourselves out of the way. It is the Spirit in me that recognizes the Spirit. It is the body of Jesus that I am that loves Jesus. The eyes that can accept God in me and the eyes that can accept God in you are the same set of eyes. That is how all self love and other love is finally one love and from the same Source. How we do one is how we do the other.
The more I have wrapped my mind around this idea, the more I have felt drawn into ministry. In speaking was a pastor about telling my call story I was advised not to focus on the "why", but to just explain the "how", but for me I think the two are inseparable. I have been drawn towards ministry as I have come to see God inside of me and inside of others.
6 comments:
I think you have explained this beautifully.
I totally agree with Single and Sane. Katy, you definitely have a gift and the love you have in your heart can (and I believe will) serve in whatever capacity you choose. I believe God wants the best for us and if I am wise, I will get out of the way and receive grace. You are much younger than me - it took me many years to find my spiritual side and believe me, I still struggle mightily with ego mixed with fear. Love was and is always the answer.
I need to introduce you to my friend Kim Mason - she has been going through some deep spiritual thinking herself - considering joining an Episcopal order (the kind where you still live where you do & can marry & have a family if you want). I'm enjoying hearing both of you talk about your journeys!
Kim has three blogs, but one's mainly for quilting. Here are the two that might interest you:
http://oneyearhere.wordpress.com/
http://kimprayz.wordpress.com/
I just want to thank each of you for your comments. Its amazing to me how strangers can connect through our writing. At times I wonder if I'm crazy so your words are all very encouraging.
Wow. Beautiful.
I wonder why I can't see full text in your RSS feed, do you allow full articles?
I say we just remove warning labels off everything, like someone suggested. This is a good idea.
In my humble opinion, there's a lot of B.S. on this topic all over the internet. How do I know you are not just trying to sell something?
This page lacks some funny comments. Know any jokes?
Friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.
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